Friday, 25 February 2011

Girl Power! Or I can't be arsed to shave my legs

“My girls, we’re stronger than one. And sometimes, we gotta have fun” from a rather shit song by Miss Christina Aguilera

 Is it just me, or do lyrics like that make you physically sick? Everybody on this planet has their own personal pet peeves. Usually, the average person has maybe nine or ten things which make them want to dropkick something into a pit of daggers and doom; naturally however I have about 237. Whilst it would be difficult to rate all 237 things in order of how much they piss me off, I would say that feminism is pretty high up there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all sexist. In fact, most of my friends are girls and there are many famous females out there whom I admire. Okay, I have laughed at the odd woman/kitchen joke. Only 3 times have I ever searched for those types of jokes on Facebook (something which I highly recommend) , but overall, I’m really not sexist. And I’m not against women’s rights and such. What I hate is that girl power Spice Girls crap.

To be honest, I really don’t care about the feminist movement in the 70’s where women protested for their rights by burning their bras. How exactly saggy boobs helped them achieve this is beyond me, but it’s done; it’s over. Sexism isn’t nearly as bad as it was back then, but why are some women still unsatisfied? I’m all for equal rights, but it is quite clear that feminism evolved from merely wanting equal rights, to instead encouraging female superiority. How exactly is that any better than sexism? Answer: it’s really not. However, there are certain inequalities which I intend to highlight:

“…the guy gets all the glory, the more he can score. While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore.” from a less shit song by Miss Christina Aguilera

 Here, Christina Aguilera ever so subtly acknowledges a common double standard in society (this is another lyric from the song - oh never mind, I’m like the only person who likes her anyway). Today, it is far more acceptable for a man to shag about like a rabbit on steroids than it is for a woman. If a woman were to engage in such behaviour, she would most likely be referred to as a slag; a slut; a whore; a skank or a ‘ho’, all of which are amongst my favourite words. Of course, in recent years the term “man slag” has been popularised but it’s not nearly as insulting as the aforementioned terms. This double standard, or inequality if you will, applies to most peoples’ views, I would assume, and other than Christina Aguilera, would any woman really want to change this? Sexuality has always been more of a private topic amongst the girls, and I really couldn’t imagine a female saying “Oh can you come back in 15 minutes girls, I’m in the middle of a wank”. Samantha Jones, from Sex and the City comes to mind in this particular area, and although she is unquestionably a very entertaining fictional character, are women really like that in real life? Would women want to be like that in real life? I am most interested. Personally, her character has always divided my opinion. Is she a symbol of female empowerment or just a dirty old whore? Anyway, sleeping around? I’m sorry, but in my opinion you are a whore, no matter what genitals you possess.

The next issue on my list is something that I luckily will never have to experience. That is of course, paying for the female. Why is it exactly that the man is expected to buy the girl food, buy her drinks, buy her cinema ticket, buy her a shit flower from a questionable Asian man on Wind Street, and also pay for the taxi? It’s not romantic, it’s fucking expensive! Buying her flowers is a nice gesture, sure. Buying her a couple of drinks is even better, awesome. Paying for her food, holy shit you’re the man. Anything more is really taking advantage. And mate, you really shouldn’t be so desperate. If it takes paying for all this crap to get her to like you, is she really worth it? My answer would be hell no. Why is it that certain women are very much into the girl power, independent woman thing, yet they expect the man to pay on their nights out and such? You can’t expect a man to be chivalrous and yourself to be an “independent woman” just like you couldn’t eat only McDonalds for a week and not put on weight. And I’ve heard a girl say before “The guy likes to pay ‘cause it shows his manliness”. I can’t speak for every guy out there, but I’d rather spend my money on an xbox game, or a burger.

The final issue I would like to address is VIOLENCE. Professional Wrestling on American television networks is allowed to show a man beating up a man, a woman beating up a woman, a woman beating up a man but forbids  a man to be shown beating up a woman. Excuse me? Why the hell not? How is it any different? And not to get into the debate on how real Pro Wrestling is (believe me that will be featured in a future blog), but it truly boggles my mind. A woman is allowed to beat up a man on television but not the other way around? Why is it any different? Violence against women is obviously not tolerated on television, but real life it‘s even worse . And no, I’m not saying that you should all go out and bitchslap a grandma on the street or something in a march against feminism. Hear me out:

Some girls, not all of them, but some girls I would say feel a sense of superiority in an altercation with a boy. Using myself as an example, I shall explain what I mean. One time, I was with one female friend and a male friend, and these two boys walked past us and said something like “cut yo’ hair” or something along those lines, to my male friend and I. We ignored it, ‘cause we really didn’t care, but the female friend proceeded to talk back and said something in a chav voice which can only be spelled as “hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah” with extra emphasis on the “a” and some other words in that same voice. The boys walked away. About an hour later, my friends and I were walking down the street, and those same boys came up to us and in fact, punched us in the face. It hurt. So yes, because my female friend (who’s very nice btw; love you!) talked shit to these boys, knowing full well that they wouldn’t do anything to her, my male friend and I got punched, even though the only thing we were guilty of is having awesome hair. I’m not saying I would have preferred my female friend to have been hit, on the contrary, I’m glad I was instead of her. However, this occurrence does back up my point.

Another instance would be when I went to Swansea Bus Station alone in the evening. This was before the nice place was built, and when the bus station generally looked like one huge bin. Anyway, I entered and quickly came across two tracksuit-clad females who were beating the shit out of a painfully skinny emo guy. In fact, he was so skinny and had hair so long, I first believed him to be a girl himself, but I soon realised my mistake. Literally now, they were kicking his ass. They weren’t throwing feminine slaps but full on fists of fury. I don’t know why they were doing it, but all that registered with me was the fact that he wasn’t fighting back because they were girls. He let himself get the shit beat out of him in a public place (no one tried to help him, I would have but I was young and feeble) just because society frowns upon male violence against women. I say, fuck society! If a girl pounds on you, I think a male should have every right to dropkick her in the face. If anyone, no matter male or female, physically put a hand on you first and instigate a fight, then by all means fight back. It’s their own fault for starting the fight in the first place. Violence should never be the answer, especially to the usual petty problems like “oi you, did you just look at my boyfriend” *PUNCH* Seriously people, sort it out. We’re supposed to be the most intelligent species on the planet.

Anyway, pour conclure, if I came across as being sexist, then I do apologise as I’m really not. Like I said, the majority of my friends are females and they are amazing people whom I respect very much. However, to the women out there who are still going on about feminism, women are not better than men. Men are not better than women. We live together in this world, and need each other to survive (and I am not interested in that whole thing about replacing men for test tubes or whatever). There are some occasions where double standards work in a woman’s favour, so just be happy that men are not likely to twat you in the face any time soon.
 
 
Bibliography
Lyrics from Christina Aguilera and my I-pod.

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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Facing the Ugly

“In a world filled with butterflies, it takes balls to be a caterpillar” Luna Vachon (RIP)

Here in 2011, our society is bombarded with sex, sex, sex and, oh yes, SEX. The pressure to look absolutely gorgeous is higher than ever, where people go to extreme lengths to achieve what their own minds deem to be ‘perfection’. Television; films; the entertainment industry is full of beautiful people. However, how do the regular people in every day life fare?

In an episode of 8 Simple Rules, Kerry decided to make a video diary, if you will, in the life of her more attractive sister, Bridget. During this particular episode, Kerry records several instances in which Bridget uses her looks in order to get what she wants. The diary details a nerdy boy completing multiple homework assignments for her, with her giving the boy another digit to her phone number for each pieve of homework he did for her. In another scene, Bridget was stopped by a police officer in her car for some reason or other, and was able to get off free of charge after telling a ridiculous story which made little sense, basically implying that the male officer let her off because he wanted to bang her. Although these occurrences are obviously exaggerated, I believe it raised a very valid point. Does how attractive you are influence the way people treat you?

I shall put myself forward as the primary example of this blog. Unfortunately, I am no Bridget. In fact, it’s fair to say that I’m about as far away from her as you could possibly get. You see, I am what people would call ugly; minging; buzzing; hanging; a munter; nice mask….oh; put a bag over it and there‘s a chance someone will be drunk enough to shag you; is it a bird? Is it a plane? Oh wait, it’s your fucking ugly face.

I am what this world would call, a caterpillar. Of course, this is a metaphor; I have no intention of shedding my skin or jizzing on plants (or whatever that foul gunky stuff is that caterpillar’s leave on leaves). I am, what polite people would call, unfortunate looking or simply, unattractive.

As a child, I don’t think you really think about these things. At least I didn’t. It wasn’t until I hit the big 16 that I received my first ugly insult. Since then, they have been fairly regular, ranging from the sarcastic, “wow, you are LUSH”, to the ever popular, “you’re fucking hanging”. These were mostly from random people whom I passed on the street or in school who felt the need to say them. When they first started, of course they bothered me. I’ve always been able to hold my own in a classic game of trading insults, but that particular insult would always floor me. How could I defend myself? It was true.

I would be lying to say that it doesn’t affect your confidence. I remember the slogan for some shit product on television was “Look Good, Feel Good”. Well, this might explain my rather bleak look on life. Friendship wise, although it rarely comes up directly, it can easily be sussed. For example, when all of your friends tell each other how nice they think each other look, the general awful pictures that your friends tag of you, and perhaps not so subtle “Your mums quite pretty, so is your father really ugly or something?” How nice. Sometimes it does crop up in the back of your mind: would you have more friends if you were more attractive? The conclusion I always come to is no. You might have far more acquaintances, know a lot more people and have 43985734958 friends on Facebook, but the number of true friends that you would have would be exactly the same. If people are only friends with you for how you look then they are seriously, not worth it.

Judging people by their appearance is not a sin. Who doesn’t do it? Stating whether you find someone attractive or not is an everyday occurrence. However, in some cases, it’s just down right nasty. When, let’s say, a rather unfortunate looking girl is with a rather fortunate looking boy, do you honestly think it’s alright for you to say “Oh he’s way too good for her. He can do loads better”. Or reverse the roles, an attractive girl with an unattractive boy and the girl’s own friend says:

Bitch : “ Why the hell is she with him? She so pretty.”
Me: “ I bet he’s really nice. Have you met him?”
Bitch: “No I don’t want to he’s fucking hanging”.

In my eyes, you’re fucking hanging love. There will come a time when you get with a super-attractive person and you’ll hear their friends telling them that you’re too ugly for them. How would you feel then?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bitter ugly person. I am now 20 years old and have grown up a lot since my teenage years. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t give a shit if I repulse people. I, myself have learned to live with it. I’m not going to set myself up for disappointment in trying to pull at a club and never pulling, I simply don’t even try ‘cause I know it’s not going to happen. When you forget about how you look, you’ll have such a better time whether you’re out on the piss, or just going through life. There is a lot more to a person than how they look. I myself look like a cross between Rafiki from Lion King, and a pumpkin on Halloween. So, should I stay in the house and cry about how ugly I am? No. There are people far worse off than I am, whether they have been in an awful accident or suffering from a harrowing disease of some kind.

To conclude, being a caterpillar in a butterfly’s world may be difficult at first, but in the end it doesn’t really matter. As long as you’ve got friends and a family who genuinely care about you, then that’s all that really matters. Life goes on even after your looks have faded.